Post # 26: Cry No More

In a search to find the most ridiculous patent ever, I came across another patent that even surpasses the 1999 Motorized Ice Cream Cone in its ludicrously; the Cry No More.

After the peaceful Motorized Ice Cream Cone that brightens up children’s days, the Cry No More appears even more dreadful. Essentially the Cry No More is a muzzle for infants, stopping their mouth so they are unable to omit any noise. Bearing resemblance to a torcher device, it is described by the inventor as the following:

"The inventive device includes a pacifier having an outwardly extending guard plate, apertures in opposite sides of the guard plate, and adjustable straps employing hook and loop fasteners to form loops for engaging the straps between the apertures in the guard plate and an infant's ears."

What is all the more shocking is that the patent was granted in 2000. Even in the modern age, only 13 years ago, someone believed this idea had value. Ultimately, this patent fails however because its potential benefits are far outweighed by its disadvantages; namely the cruelty enacted upon the child. Indeed, if this patent were to manifest itself in the market, it would most likely fail U.S Department of Health and Human Services laws in its relationship to child abuse and neglect. In this respect, the patent is rendered completely useless.